


angel wings

by pshooyeop (choucobos)



Category: UP10TION
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Gen, M/M, Past Character Death, also i dont wanna clog other tags with fics unrelated to them, edited to accommodate wei's name change, jinjun is actually left open to interpretation, just because this fic focuses on those three, so sungjun > jinhyuk, there are characters in here that i didn't put in the tags, wooxiao's relationship is just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 21:46:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16731213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choucobos/pseuds/pshooyeop
Summary: jinwook is sorry for something he couldn't control in the first place.





	angel wings

**Author's Note:**

> another perspective of my [angel au](https://twitter.com/951111_com/status/1001971096638410755) on twitter. advised to read the au first before this fic.

All that Jinwook can say is goodbye.

 

All that he can do was watch Jinhyuk as he fell, imagining each feather being plucked from his back and feeling a vague sense of emptiness and disappointment. He doesn’t turn away. He doesn’t cry. He refuses to fail Jinhyuk one more time by being too weak to witness the result of everything he couldn’t do for him.

 

And when there was no trace of Jinhyuk left on heaven, Jinwook turns to face the assembly of head angels, all peering down at him.

 

———

 

The day Jinwook received a mission to give Jinhyuk, he spent a couple of minutes staring at it. Then he did five things. First, he was unsure if he read “Lee Jinhyuk” next to “ASSIGNED ANGEL” right so he read it about five more times. Second, he set it aside to examine the other assignments he was to give out. When he picked it up again, “Lee Jinhyuk” was still the angel assigned to the mission and he was still quite confused. Third, he made sure that the mission was real and was given to him from Hoseok and no one was playing some sort of trick on him. Fourth, he pulled Jihoon, who was passing by, over to take a look at the assignment as well.

 

“Is this real?” He asked, keeping his voice level. Jihoon stared at it for a moment before letting out a noise of surprise.

 

“Huh. Yeah, it is.”

 

“It says Lee Jinhyuk?”

 

“Yeah. It’s time, isn’t it?”

 

Jinwook took the assignment from him and looked at it again. “Is it? I thought he had another couple of years.”

 

Jihoon leaned against Jinwook’s desk. “Wooseok completed his training early, remember? Instead of five years, he finished training in two. And the conditions were that after Wooseok got ten years of experience, Jinhyuk’s punishment would be over.”

 

“Does it count if Wooseok stopped asking for Earth missions after eight years?” Jinwook asked, frowning and placing the assignment back on top of his desk.

 

Jihoon shrugged. “He’s been doing heaven tasks for two years. I think that counts as experience.”

 

Jinwook contemplated it all, brows furrowed as he thought hard. Jihoon peered at his face curiously.

 

“Are you against it? Shouldn’t you be happy for Jinhyuk?” He asked. Jinwook slowly shook his head.

 

“I’m.. not against it,” he replied, sounding uncertain.

 

“Then there’s no reason to frown about it. Make sure he focuses on the mission this time, okay?”

 

Jinwook winces. Jihoon sighed.

 

“It’ll all turn out fine,” he says, placing a hand on Jinwook’s shoulder. “For now, I’ll go tell Jinhyuk he needs to see you, okay?”

 

He nodded numbly, letting Jihoon leave him alone in his office.

 

Fifth, Jinwook rubbed his eyes and lets out a deep sigh.

 

-

 

“This isn’t a normal mission, Jinwook.”

 

He looked confusedly at Hyunwoo, his fellow head angel. Hyunwoo looked at him right back and for a second, Jinwook thinks Hyunwoo had forgotten to respond before he realized he was actually waiting for  _ him  _ to respond.

 

“So what is it?” He asked.

 

“The heavens decided that before Jinhyuk’s punishment is going to be completely finished, he must be reevaluated first,” Hyunwoo explained. “To be reevaluated, he has to successfully complete a mission and return to heaven.”

 

“Oh” is all Jinwook could say.

 

-

 

“Hyung.”

 

Jinwook turned to see Jinhyuk standing in the entrance of his office. There was a look of curiosity and anticipation on his face. He stood tall like he usually did, hands by his sides. He often reminded Jinwook of how short he was. A lot of angels reminded Jinwook how short he was, but he never really minded when Jinhyuk poked fun at him.

 

Jinwook cleared his throat and stood from his desk, picking up the assignment file from the cluttered surface. It was neat this morning, but he’d spent all day preparing for this moment.

 

“Lee Jinhyuk, you’ve been assigned to a soulmate mission designated on Earth.” He said. It was what he usually said when he was assigning missions to angels. There was a lot of boring, official stuff he had to say to get out of the way before giving the file to Jinhyuk, but before he could continue, the senior angel interrupted him with a loud “ _ WHAT _ .”

 

Jinhyuk clapped his hands over his mouth, eyes widening. Jinwook couldn’t help but smile at the tall boy. Jinwook could always count on him to make the situation endearing. He held up the file to him.

 

“You’ve heard me say it a bunch of times,” he decided. “I don’t need to tell you after hundreds of years, right?”

 

“Hyung…” Jinhyuk let himself say, accepting the file with shaking hands. “Is this real? Like, I have a mission? My punishment is over?”

 

The smile slipped off Jinwook’s lips and a sigh pushed past them. “Not exactly.”

 

Jinhyuk deflated slightly at Jinwook’s response. He frowned as he looked back and forth between the file and the head angel.

 

“The assignment is very much real,” he quickly continued, averse to keeping the other angel upset. “You’re assigned to this, this is a real mission. But in order for your punishment to be completely over, you need to be reevaluated.”

 

“Reevaluated?” Jinhyuk echoed, curiosity replacing dejection. Jinwook nodded.

 

“I won’t go into what you did was bad,” he said quietly. Technically he should have, but Jinhyuk’s expression turned downcast and he decided that he’d been punished enough. Reopening old wounds wouldn’t do anyone any good. “You already know what you did wasn’t good. It’s not something that angels do, so I won’t get into it. But you can’t continue as an angel if you can’t prove that you can put aside your emotions in order to do your job as an angel.”

 

“So I need to complete a mission perfectly in order for my punishment to be over.”

 

“That’s right.” Jinhyuk’s expression softened. He let out a sigh before accepting the file.

 

“I need to do this,” he said resolutely. “I’m an angel. I have to do my job.”

 

“I’ll be by your side, as always,” Jinwook offered. Jinhyuk looked up from the file to smile brightly at him. Warmth spread through him as he returned it, hoping to reassure Jinhyuk.

 

“I can always count on you.”

 

-

 

It was troubling when Wooseok came to Jinwook.

 

Of course Jinhyuk would tell the junior angel all about his mission. The two of them were inseparable. Jinwook expected this. He expected that Wooseok would come to him after hearing all about it. What he expected was for the junior angel to pester him into telling who Jinhyuk’s supervisor would be. What he  _ didn’t  _ expect was for Wooseok to request to be his supervisor.

 

“Wooseok, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

 

“Why not?”

 

Jinwook tilted his head.

 

Jinwook had a weak spot for Wooseok. He was always connected to Jinhyuk and it all felt like a huge circle. It wasn’t that he felt responsible for Wooseok like he did for Jinhyuk (because strangely enough, he felt that Wooseok was strong enough, independent enough. Why didn’t he feel the same with Jinhyuk?), but he still liked having him around because he made Jinwook happy. He was bright and just teasing enough. He was fun to be around, to play with, to joke with.

 

But most importantly, Wooseok made Jinhyuk happy. The two of them were attached to each other and naturally, Jinwook couldn’t help but take care of the both of them.

 

“You’re a junior angel. I get that you’re highly regarded as successful and helpful, but there are still regulations I need to follow,” he explained. “Besides, you stopped asking for Earth tasks years ago. I thought you wanted nothing to do with it anymore. Don’t tell me you’re getting curious again?”

 

Wooseok scoffed and shook his head. “I’m not curious, hyung, I just wanna help Jinhyuk with his whole mission. You know, like a good friend?”

 

Jinwook raised a brow at the other angel. Wooseok went on, a little flustered.

 

“Besides,” he said, “I can’t keep running away from Earth forever. I’m an angel tasked to this planet - I’m bound to it one way or another.”

 

“I’m just worried about how this will turn out. You know what happened last time.”

 

“This won’t be like last time, hyung. I promise.”

 

Maybe he was too lenient. But as a hard-working angel, one of the few that actually busted their asses trying to get their jobs done, people still respected him.

 

But this time, just maybe he was too lenient.

 

“You want to have Kim Wooseok, a  _ junior  _ angel, supervise a highly important mission for a senior angel?” Hyunwoo asked, raising a brow. It was only then that Jinwook realized how stupid the request was. He should’ve said no, should’ve had any semblance of self-control and told both Wooseok and Jinhyuk no. However, there he was, having to defend and reason for the both of them.

 

It occurred to him in that moment that Jinwook didn’t actually know why Wooseok wanted to supervise Jinhyuk. At first, he thought that he just wanted to support his best friend. Even still, he had to realize that he was in no position to be a supervisor, right? Wooseok wasn’t stupid. He knew what his limits were. Yet still, he went ahead and asked, determined to look out for his friend.

 

Wooseok and Jinhyuk were very alike. There were parts of them that were far too human and not angel enough. They had the human curiosity that they were meant to shed as soon as they died and became angels. It seemed that things don’t always worked out in the heavens’ favor, however.

 

There was a bad feeling in his gut. A feeling that told Jinwook to play it off as a joke and assign someone like Soonyoung as Jinhyuk’s supervisor instead.

 

But Jinwook hardened his gaze and told Hyunwoo, “Wooseok’s sharp. Sharper than any angel I would’ve assigned as Jinhyuk’s supervisor.”

 

“Jinwook, I know nearly every angel on heaven,” Hyunwoo countered. “I could give you a sharp angel, you’d just have to ask.”

 

“Listen, Wooseok knows Jinhyuk. He knows when to limit him and  _ how _ to do it.”

 

“You haven’t forgotten Wooseok’s own mistakes, have you?”

 

Jinwook stopped for a moment. He looked down, throat tightening. Of course he knew. He was responsible for that, too.

 

He brushed the thoughts away and took a deep breath before facing Hyunwoo again, trying to look as resolute as Jinhyuk did when he accepted the mission. “This would be good for the both of them. We could get the both of them back on the field and doing Earth missions. They can both improve themselves and learn their roles.”

 

“It’s risky,” Hyunwoo said, brows knitting together.

“Everything with Jinhyuk is risky. Have you met him?” Jinwook persisted.

 

He doesn’t know exactly how he did it, but Hyunwoo relented.

 

When he left Hyunwoo’s office, there was a sense of anxiety and anticipation buzzing through Jinwook. A sense of fear and uncertainty that angels don’t usually have. The foreboding that originated from past mistakes. But they weren’t human. History can’t repeat itself if they weren’t human.

 

-

 

The first day of Jinhyuk’s mission went fairly well. While Wooseok supervised Jinhyuk from Earth, Jinwook watched over them both with a careful eye from heaven. Normally, there’s no need to watch over angels when they’re on a mission, but this was a special case. Especially to Jinwook. He was responsible for the both of them. He had to keep an eye on them.

 

It’s always amusing when humans can’t recognize angels when they see them. Even when they look perfectly ordinary, there’s always something that sets them apart. It was this that always warded Jinwook from going down to Earth too often. Humans were too gullible, too easily influenced. They weren’t perceptive enough and felt too much. Jinwook simply could not relate.

 

But Jinhyuk did. He was wonderful at relating to humans and blending in. He acted like he felt the same emotions that they did and experienced the same human occurrences that they did. It always made Jinwook proud of him, but in hindsight, it should have made him wary.

 

At the end of the first day of Jinhyuk’s mission, he finds out more things than any other angel would on their first day. He was talented like that. Jinwook was proud of him.

 

According to Jinhyuk, Yein and Hwanhee hated each other due to maturity problems. Jinwook couldn’t wrap his head around it. He’s positive he hasn’t felt hate in hundreds and hundreds of years. There was no need to hate someone just because they didn’t act in a way that you didn’t like. It was such a  _ human _ concept, and yet Jinhyuk understood immediately, like he didn’t have to sit down and think about it for a moment. And maybe he didn’t. Maybe he didn’t have to think twice and remember that humans are so emotional like Jinwook did.

 

Jinwook’s dread grew. Because some part of Jinhyuk, he surmised, could be more human than it should be.

 

-

 

The next time Jinwook saw Jinhyuk with the humans, it’s a bit of a mess. Well, Hwanhee was, anyway. All that radiated off of the younger male is anger, tension, and irritation - all because of a spilled cup of coffee. Why couldn’t a simple apology fix things?

 

For a moment, Jinwook got lost in the way Jinhyuk took care of Hwanhee so easily. He forgot that he had other duties to attend to and focused on the image of the angel looking after the human. It made him think of two things. First, he wondered if Jinhyuk’s kindness had to do with the mission or he was just being kind. Second, he considered further if Jinhyuk’s nature made him so much better at taking care of humans. Angels didn’t have the soft look in their eyes like Jinhyuk did. They didn’t take care of them just because they wanted to - they did it because they had to.

 

In that moment - a time which felt like nothing but a second to Jinwook - Jinhyuk earnestly took care of Lee Hwanhee out of the goodness of his heart.

 

Angels didn’t have beating, feeling hearts.

 

Angels were ethereal beings, meant to guide humans and that was it.

 

Angels were not like Lee Jinhyuk.

 

-

 

There was a new person who seemed to attach himself to the situation between Yein and Hwanhee. The sight of the new person was jarring to Jinwook because he never thought that he would ever see him again. In fact, he was never supposed to see Lee Dongyeol again until he died and was to be escorted to heaven where all souls went after death.

 

Seeing Dongyeol made him nervous. Maybe it was a sign for Jinwook to recall Jinhyuk and Wooseok back into heaven. Surely Wooseok would recognize him again. He was the entire damn reason he stopped taking Earth missions in the first place.

 

Lee Dongyeol was the entire reason that Wooseok made a mistake so bad that he disallowed himself to go down to Earth and let his curiosity take over again.

 

-

 

But Jinwook supposed that their meeting was inevitable. In the end, they were soulmates - Lee Dongyeol and Kim Wooseok. He was never terribly sure how soulmates worked, but apparently, they still applied past death and past angelic rebirth. Soulmates were always drawn to each other no matter what. The only thing that Jinwook was particularly thankful for was that Jinhyuk never recognized who Dongyeol was.

 

As he watched Dongyeol and Wooseok meet again in their intertwined life, the dread in his gut grew. But he allowed the mission to continue, even as Wooseok regarded the young human with familiarity and affection.

 

(Jinwook supposed that he was also grateful for the fact that Wooseok had no recollection of his past life before dying. If Wooseok realized that Dongyeol was his soulmate, it would have caused complications a long time ago.)

 

(And, okay, he was grateful that Wooseok was acting normally instead of doing something out of line. He was positive that Wooseok remembered Dongyeol from the one mission in Busan and didn’t expect to ever see him again after his own mistake, but here he was. Maybe seeing Dongyeol gave Wooseok a little gratification. Maybe it was a sign.)

 

-

 

On the other hand, Jinwook was less grateful for the complicated couple that is Lee Hwanhee and Seon Yein. They continuously gave Jinhyuk a hard time.

 

It was always anger with the two of them. Anger, spite, and a lot of arguing. Jinwook even had to double check that they were actually soulmates or not, because at that point, it seemed  _ really _ unlikely. The two of them blew up over something as simple as spilt coffee.

 

Then again, he might have been underestimating the problems that humans went through on a daily basis. He tried to understand - he really did. He didn’t know why he started to do so, but he began to attempt to comprehend why humans acted like they did.

 

“Are you still watching Jinhyuk do his mission?” Jihoon asked as he passed by.

 

“Yeah,” he hummed, eyes still on the image of the scene below them.

 

“Don’t you have more work to do?” Seungcheol, who was with Jihoon, asked.

 

“Yeah,” he answered half-heartedly.

 

“Why aren’t you doing it?” Soonyoung, who was with both Jihoon and Seungcheol, asked.

 

“I mean, I guess that Jinhyuk’s revaluation is my top priority right now,” he explained, still watching the scene unfold. “It’s not really just an ordinary mission, remember? He’s being reevaluated, and y’know, that’s a pretty big deal after his punishment. I should at least be keeping a close eye on him as the person responsible for him.”

 

“Who ever actually decided that you were responsible for him?” Jihoon asked simply.

 

Jinwook frowns. No one did, actually. No one pointed at Jinwook and said  _ “Jinwook, you’re going to be in charge of this new angel who has unexpectedly died - don’t fuck this up.” _ But no one had stepped up to take care of him in the first place, so Jinwook volunteered. After that, he just took it upon himself to look after Jinhyuk and take responsibility for everything that had to do with him.

 

“I did, I guess,” he softly said.

 

“And you just stuck with that decision?”

 

“I guess I did.”

 

Below them, the situation became less than desirable for Jinhyuk, Yein, and Hwanhee. The three of them seemed backed into a corner, but Jinwook narrowed his eyes at the angel. He knew how he acted when he was getting desperate to do something.

 

Jinhyuk was determined to do something. Jinwook was determined to keep him in check.

 

In the end, Jinwook was just doing his job, right?

 

Seungsik left without more of a fight. He let Yein, Hwanhee, and Jinhyuk off the hook, directing them to the exit so other students could continue studying in peace, as if others’ studying was the most important thing in the world at the moment. Maybe it was to Seungsik. It was his job, wasn’t it? To keep peace and quiet in a library?

 

(Jinwook was doing his job, too. To keep Jinhyuk from doing anything out of line. If anyone would have to tamper with humans, then it would be Jinwook. Better him than Jinhyuk.)

 

“What did you just do?”

 

Jinwook turned to Jihoon. Fuck, he’d forgotten that Seungcheol, Soonyoung, and Jihoon were  _ right there _ , watching as Jinwook literally committed a crime.

 

He felt a little chaotic. Maybe it was some sort of rush after doing something bad. He answered, “My job.”

 

(Angels don’t feel adrenaline rush. They’re dead after all. But watching Jihoon’s expression morph into horror and disgust gave him the biggest fucking rush that reminded him of feeling alive so long ago.)

 

-

 

“You understand the punishments for tampering with humans, right?”

 

Jinwook decided that Shin Hoseok is a little scary when he’s mad. Everyone knew this, actually. Usually, the head angel was pretty level-headed and friendly, but he liked following rules. If someone broke a regulation, Hoseok wouldn’t hesitate to reprimand them properly. Jinwook, as highly respected as he was, was no exception.

 

“Yeah,” was all Jinwook could say.

 

“You’ve been acting up, you know,” Hoseok said. “You’re not the same, respectable head angel that I regard pretty fucking highly. Ever since Jinhyuk’s incident, even  _ Wooseok’s _ incident… All you do is take responsibility for their actions, apologize and promise that you’ll look after them better. You always take responsibility, but do you ever take the  _ punishment _ ?”

 

Hoseok pointed at him accusingly. “You have a sense self-preservation. You don’t want to take the punishments of the crimes you take responsibility for. But you also care too much about Jinhyuk and Wooseok. You baby them too much, always begging to ease their punishments. We like you, Jinwook, we really do, but we can’t keep making special cases for you.”

  
“I know.”

 

“Is that all you have to say?” Hoseok demanded. Jinwook shrugged. Hoseok sighed heavily.

 

“Since you’re in the middle of an important mission, we’ll save your punishment for after it. I’m not going easy on you anymore, Jinwook. And if Jinhyuk or Wooseok make mistakes, you can’t take responsibility for them anymore. I won’t go easy on them either. They’re mature angels. They can take some severe punishments that they deserve.”

 

Jinwook nodded stiffly. He made to leave, to go back to where he was watching Jinhyuk’s mission.

 

Before he left, he turned around and looked at Hoseok in the eyes.

 

“I was doing my job. But rules are rules, I guess. By all means, I’m ready to accept any punishment,” he said. The look in Hoseok’s eyes was fucking priceless.

 

-

 

Wooseok is a bright angel. He’s more perceptive than most. Of course he would sense that a human was tampered with.

 

“Hyung, I’m getting worried for Jinhyuk,” Wooseok told him, chewing on his bottom lip.

 

“What is it?” Jinwook asked, feigning ignorance.

 

“I feel like he tampered with one of the humans. Like, that’s the  _ one _ shitty thing about me taking on the supervisor role - I can’t do anything like higher ranking angels can. I didn’t think this whole thing through, clearly, but I just wanted to help him! He’s getting too involved into this, isn’t he?” Wooseok ranted, running a hand through his cherry red hair. He’d kept it red for a long time now. It was black for a short amount of time, but he’d changed his hair after meeting Dongyeol for the “first” time.

 

Jinwook chose his words carefully.

 

“He didn’t tamper with the humans. There’s no reports of him doing anything against the rules so far.”

 

Jinwook never alluded to the fact that  _ he _ was the one who tampered with Seungsik’s emotions and thoughts. After all, Wooseok only asked if Jinhyuk tampered with a human and the honest answer was  _ no _ . He never told Wooseok and he  _ certainly _ didn’t plan on telling Jinhyuk that he committed a crime for the sake of making the situation a little easier for Jinhyuk. He didn’t plan on telling them that he’d be punished, and likely heavily.

 

Instead, he told Wooseok to trust in Jinhyuk. Trust and support was what he really needed the most. Jinwook didn’t know how long he could keep providing it.

 

-

 

Things calm down after the library incident. Jinwook pointedly made an effort to avoid Hoseok and Jihoon. For some reason, Hyunwoo never called to talk to him about his transgressions, but honestly, the less amount of head angels breathing down his neck for his crime, the better. Hyunwoo especially was a head angel he didn’t want to deal with. Jinwook didn’t want to deal with Hoseok because he was quite sure that Hoseok would be hovering over him in order to make sure he wouldn’t be breaking any more rules. Jihoon was just being an asshole about the whole situation.

 

At least Seungcheol and Soonyoung wasn’t too mean about it. They didn’t understand his decision, but it wasn’t like Jinwook needed them to. They, along with  _ many _ other angels, respected Jinwook considerably less, but that was okay. Jinwook never actually needed any of their respect.

 

It was actually a little ironic. Angels respected him because he worked harder than any angel on heaven. Now they lost respect for him for doing his job.

 

He didn’t want to concern himself with them. As he’d been doing all along, he focused on Jinhyuk and Wooseok. They seemed to be holding up well enough for a while, keeping Hwanhee and Yein reasonably apart until they figured out what to do.

 

But then there was the time that Jinhyuk went out with Hwanhee and his friends. To Jinwook, Jinhyuk had always been transparent when it came to how he felt. No one, not even Wooseok sometimes, would be able to know what Jinhyuk was feeling at any given moment except Jinwook. He knew the angel well enough to recognize what he was feeling, even if he was masking it with enthusiastic smiles and playful jibes at his human companions. And Jinwook felt terrible to realize how lonely and sad Jinhyuk actually felt. There was a deep desire within Jinhyuk, one that he recognized easily from years of detecting it.

 

He should have stopped Jinhyuk. Maybe shot him a text to tell him to suppress the feelings of wanting to be human. But as usual, he just watched.

 

To make up for his lack of action, Jinwook reprimanded him when he messages later that night about making a mistake with Hwanhee. 

 

“Focus on the mission,” he sharply said.

 

“I know, I know,” Jinhyuk sheepishly said, sighing.

 

“It’s fine,” he reassured him dismissively. “He’s human, he’ll get over it quickly enough. He just feels guilt, but it won’t last.”

 

That was the right thing to do, right? If he could realign Jinhyuk’s focus to the mission, then surely the entire situation would be put behind him. And he doubted that it was actually as severe as Jinhyuk described it in the first place. He’d seen how Hwanhee took a liking to Jinhyuk pretty easily - there was no way that the younger could’ve stayed mad at him.

 

Even still, Jinhyuk seemed inconsolable. He opened his mouth to say something, but hesitated and never said it. He practically radiated guilt and regret. Jinhyuk never said it, but Jinwook knew how he felt. He knew he felt guilt, even if he wasn’t supposed to. But all Jinhyuk did was half-heartedly reply, “Right.”

 

It didn’t help that Wooseok was being brutally honest about the humans that Jinhyuk had clearly gotten fond of, despite warnings not to. Jinwook knew that it was only driving a stick right into the wound, and as much as he knew Wooseok was right, he couldn’t just let Jinhyuk suffer. He couldn’t let himself leave him alone.

 

So he messaged him again.

 

“Don’t let what Wooseok was saying get to you, okay?” Jinwook’s tone was gentler this time, not wanting to upset the angel further.

 

“Hyung, I know,” Jinhyuk weakly dismissed. “I’m not a child. I can manage my emotions just fine.”

 

“But that’s where the problem is,” Jinwook said, brows furrowing. “You’re not suppsoed to feel anything for the humans.”

 

Jinhyuk doesn’t reply.

 

“We’re angels. Remember that. Our only job is to guide them. We’ve let you go for years, but this is your reevaluation. All the angels in heaven and I are keeping a close eye on you.”

  
“Hyung, I  _ know _ , I should be careful. I get it.”

 

“It’s more than that, Jinhyuk - you need to learn to suppress your emotions. You can’t let it affect your work anymore.”

 

Jinhyuk went quiet again. And then he quietly said, “I’ll try.”

 

He hoped he said the right things to Jinhyuk this time.

 

The dread in his gut told him otherwise, but he was starting to get really good at ignoring it.

 

-

 

The next months went fast, as they always did to angels. Wooseok, at one point, began expressing his boredom about staying so long on Earth, which Jinwook found odd because (1) a few months  _ really wasn’t long _ to an angel, and (2) he certainly didn’t  _ seem _ bored with how much he hung out with Dongyeol. It was reaching a point where Jinwook worried about him having ulterior motives for staying on Earth.

 

“Have a little more faith in Wooseok,” Seungcheol assured him.

 

“I do, I have a lot of faith in him,” Jinwook replied, frowning. “Wooseok’s smart. But I’m just worried… you know they’re soulmates.”

 

“Do you think that has some sort of effect on him?” Jihoon asked.

 

“Not exactly?” Jinwook scrunched up his face, deep in thought. “Woo isn’t aware that Dongyeol’s his soulmate, but you know they’re gonna be drawn to each other anyway. I’m just worried that Wooseok might want to stay on Earth like Jinhyuk because of what he feels when he’s around Dongyeol.”

 

“He’s not like Jinhyuk, though,” Jihoon pointed out.

 

“They’re actually a lot more alike than you think,” Seungcheol remarked, raising a brow.

 

Jinwook stayed quiet as the angels behind him kept chattering. He stayed quiet as he watched on, carefully monitoring Jinhyuk and Wooseok. For the most part, they were doing their jobs pretty well and Jinwook already felt the shift in Yein’s and Hwanhee’s demeanor towards each other. Only a little more and Jinhyuk and Wooseok would be back in heaven and they would go on like normal again. He’d be able to give Jinhyuk missions and the angel would be happy like he used to be. Jinwook wouldn’t have anything to worry about.

 

Winter fell over Seoul. It was times like these where Jinwook appreciated the beauty of Earth for once. Sometimes humans were ugly creatures, but the things they constructed stood prettily in nature. He’d be a liar if he ever said he didn’t think Earth was beautiful.

 

And humans weren’t all bad, he supposed. Once upon a time, Jinwook was a human, although it was a very long time ago and he could barely remember any of it. He remembered having a loving mother and two sweet siblings. He’d guided his mother to the part of heaven where souls rested a long time ago and got the privilege of guiding his siblings as well. Jinwook vaguely remembered loving his family wholeheartedly, so if he loved them before, why couldn’t he now?

 

He continued to look down on Earth, watching as Jinhyuk had his fun with the humans. He looked so happy. Maybe he could come to love humans as well.

 

Everything was going well. Jinwook looked forward to seeing Jinhyuk back in heaven.

 

-

 

And then everything  _ wasn’t _ going well.

 

The strange and wonderful and awful thing about Earth was that things could change so much in such little time. Jinwook blinked and suddenly Jinhyuk was overcome with feelings of despair. He was distraught and Jinwook didn’t know how to help.

 

So he told him to keep going. 

 

“Calm down, Jinhyuk,” he said, as if he wasn’t on the verge of losing his shit as well, “Just focus on getting through it one at a time, okay?”

 

“I can’t,” Jinhyuk cried, “it hurts, hyung.”

 

It hurt. He was right, it  _ did _ hurt. But not in the same way that Jinhyuk was hurting. Jinwook hurt to see the angel in so much pain.

 

“Please ignore it, Jinhyuk,” he desperately told him. “Just ignore how you feel for now. They’re going to be your downfall just like they always have been. You’re so close to the end, just please endure it a little further.”

 

The focus was to get the job done first, right? They could deal with what Jinhyuk was feeling later.

 

“Why me, hyung?”

 

(It hurt. It hurt to see him so upset, so distraught. Not physically, of course. But there was a vague tugging at Jinwook’s heart that told him to stop. To give Jinhyuk a break, to comfort him or anything like that. The thing that Jinwook hated the most was seeing Jinhyuk upset. He hated it twelve years ago and he hated it now. All Jinwook could do was watch as Jinhyuk forced himself through the pain. And if Jinwook thought humans were okay before, he hated them now for making Jinhyuk suffer.)

 

-

 

“Have you done it?”

 

“They’re gonna talk. No guarantee that they’ll get together or whatever.”

  
“But they’ll make up.”

 

“That’s what you want, right?”

 

“Jinhyuk…”

 

“It wasn’t about me. Just about what you wanted so I can get my position back. Because for some reason, you want me to be an angel so bad.”

 

“Jinhyuk, what? That’s not..”

 

“Jinhyuk.”

 

“Jinhyuk, answer me.”

 

“Jinhyuk, please.”

 

“ _ Please _ .”

 

“Where are you? I’m worried, I- I can’t tell where you are.”

 

“Jinhyuk?”

 

-

 

Jinwook had not been on Earth in a very long time.

 

When you become a head angel, you find less opportunities and obligations to return down to Earth. You get to do all the boring stuff, which was assign missions to working angels and try to maintain respect with other head angels that had their own jobs to do. Some of them supervised other angels - senior angels, junior angels, new angels. Others doled out assignments. There were few who were so in touch with the heavens that they were able to interpret what they wanted the angels to do.

 

Jinwook was an angel who did… pretty much everything. Not that he was forced to, it was just that as soon as he became head angel, he preferred doing desk work rather than field work.

 

Which was why Earth felt so unfamiliar to him when he found himself in front of the dorm that Jinhyuk and Wooseok were staying in.

 

The Earth was cold with winter. He couldn’t actually feel it, but there were traces of old familiarity with how the snow felt when they fell on his skin. Jinwook stood there, mesmerized with Earth before he recalled what he was supposed to do.

 

Wooseok looked nothing less than surprised when Jinwook burst in through their front door.

  
“Where’s Jinhyuk?” He asked, voice bordering on desperate.

 

“Jinhyuk? He just left,” Wooseok answered, blinking. “Probably to keep an eye on Hwanhee and Yein. I think he said that they’re finally gonna talk?”

 

The junior angel went on with what he was doing. Which wasn’t much. He was literally just watching TV. At least, Jinwook  _ thought _ that was a TV. He hasn’t actually seen one up close because the last time he was on earth was  _ decades ago _ .

 

It occured to Jinwook that,  _ fuck _ , Wooseok didn’t actually know anything. He didn’t know why Jinwook was there or why he would ever need to be there. He didn’t understand why Jinwook was so desperate to see Jinhyuk or why he was in a state of mess that Jinwook just normally wasn’t in. He didn’t know a damn thing about Jinhyuk, as close as the two of them were.

 

“Wooseok.”

 

“Hm?” Wooseok turned back to him, letting out a noise of confusion.

  
“You need to know. It’s been twelve years overdue, but you need to know why Jinhyuk was banned from Earth and assignments in the first place.”

 

That caught Wooseok’s attention. He sat up, eyebrows knitting together as he turned his full attention to Jinwook.

 

“Why?” He asked, concerned.

 

Jinwook really didn’t want to be the one to deliver this news.

 

But if not him, then who?

 

“I think Jinhyuk’s about to fall.”

 

-

 

Angels were supposed to have knowledge on when a human would die and how they would die. Jinhyuk was supposed to die when he was nearing 100. He was supposed to die of old age. The day that Jinwook rescued Jinhyuk’s soul after death was the day Jinwook was so  _ unsure _ of everything. Everyone looked away for a second and then all of a sudden, a human was dead. Jinwook was put in charge of taking his soul to the heavens. When he saw Jinhyuk, his heart dropped to his stomach.

 

That day, Jinhyuk looked as alive as ever. He only looked a little lost, but he still looked alive. Where souls were a saturated color after death, Jinhyuk was a vibrant soul, still had so much life left in him.

 

Did he regret volunteering to retrieve Jinhyuk’s soul? No. No, he didn’t. Everyone else was too shocked, too caught off guard. Hyunwoo was about to volunteer himself, but Jinwook stepped forwards and said he’d do it. He went down the earth, right at the spot where Jinhyuk died.

 

Jinhyuk was tall. He was tall as an angel and he was tall as a human. Most angels’ appearances could change depending on them. Jinhyuk never had the capability to change his appearance, however. He stayed that tall, lanky child who Jinwook found standing in the snow on the morning of his death.

 

He was looking down at his own corpse, a thoughtful expression on his face. When he saw Jinwook approaching out of the corner of his eye, he turned and Jinwook saw so much life still left in his eyes. It  _ startled _ Jinwook. He stopped in his tracks, eyes going wide as he looked at Jinhyuk.

 

Jinhyuk was the one who approached him, since Jinwook was evidently stuck in his spot. The first thing that came out of his mouth as he stopped in front of the head angel was, “Am I dead?”

 

It was a simple question. The simple answer was yes. The answer that Jinwook gave him was, “I’m sorry.”

 

He did fine guiding him to the heavens, but the next matter to attend to was where Jinhyuk would go. Would they put his soul to rest? He deserved it, didn’t he? His life was taken before it was time - naturally he would be put to rest with most of the other souls that were picked up.

 

However, someone suggested that Jinhyuk should be rebirthed as an angel. And then other people started to agree with that angel. And pretty soon, everyone made the collective agreement that Jinhyuk would be rebirthed into an angel and begin his training as soon as possible. Personally, Jinwook didn’t see the significance in it because the best case scenario would be letting his soul rest. He’d certainly been through enough, hadn’t he?

 

But the decision was made. There was a collective agreement among the head angels to make Lee Jinhyuk an angel. Jinwook didn’t say a word.

 

Was it the heavens’ fault that things ended up like this? No, it couldn’t have been. The heavens were incorporeal. The way the heavens worked was this: it was a dwelling place for angels, but at the same time, it controlled the flow of life and death. There were angels - head angels - who were more in touch with the heavens than others. They were put in charge of the rest of the angels, doling out tasks and delivering punishments to unruly angels (because there were many unruly angels, not just Jinwook or Jinhyuk). The heavens was home, but at the same time, the heavens were their guardians. They looked after angels, healed them, and reinvigorated them.

 

So no, the heavens were not at fault.

 

Maybe Jinwook was to be held accountable. He should have spoken up, said something about letting Jinhyuk rest.  _ Someone _ would’ve agreed with him.

 

But he didn’t speak up. He never acted upon what he felt. He never said, “Hey, maybe we should think logically about this and let this poor soul rest? What if there’s negative repercussions later? He’s been through enough, let’s just let him rest!” He never said anything, just stayed passive.

 

From that day on, Jinwook had an odd attachment to Jinhyuk. A sense of responsibility towards the angel. He looked after the fledgling angel, taught him everything he knew and guided him to do the right thing as an angel. Jinhyuk grew to be a fantastic angel, doing everything that the head angels instructed of him happily. He was enthusiastic about his job, and when he got his first ever assignment to Earth, he was ecstatic. It warmed Jinwook’s heart to see him so happy.

 

But as time passed, Jinhyuk wanted to stay longer on Earth. He wanted to play with the humans a little longer, understand them better as if he didn’t already know everything about how humans worked because of how much he loved them. He was asking for too much.

 

Jinwook remembered the day of the incident very well.

 

Jinhyuk was weak. He was barely hanging onto his disguise by the thread as he still played with two children that he’d gotten fond of. One with bright, wide eyes and a sharp mind. One with a happy smile and a loud laugh. Even if Jinwook tried, he would never forget the way Jinhyuk looked so happy when he was around Kim Wooseok and Lee Dongyeol. Coming down to Earth to retrieve Jinhyuk and prevent him from falling was taking away that happiness from him. Jinwook hated every second of being on Earth for that reason.

 

As soon as Jinhyuk saw Jinwook, he panicked. The disguise he wore - a tall, lanky child that reached Jinwook’s chest - fell apart and his angel wings were on full display.

 

That didn’t affect Jinwook, of course. He saw angel wings all the time.

 

The kids, on the other hand, were not as fortunate.

 

As soon as Jinwook had made his appearance, the bright-eyed child told the happy one to go home and wait for him - he himself stayed, standing behind Jinhyuk. The happy child, unwilling to leave his best friend and soulmate, hid behind a tree to watch as well.

 

The bright-eyed child perished at the sight of the angel’s wings, naturally. Humans couldn’t handle the glory and brightness of angel wings - the only time they could see them was when they died and would be led by those wings to heaven.

 

The other child, who was not as close to the sight and was shielded partially by the tree, was knocked unconscious and didn’t remember anything that happened. Jinwook and Jinhyuk left him behind. The child who died, however, was waking up - that is, his soul was.

 

Jinwook quietly helped him. The child was led to heaven and rebirthed as an angel. He was the second person to have his life cut short. This time, it  _ was _ the angels’ fault.

 

Jinhyuk was punished. The head angels used his guilt against him and so he willingly accepted his punishment of of isolation and banishment from Earth afterwards. His isolation ended when Wooseok finished his training. It was supposed to be five years, but Wooseok, as bright as he was, finished his training in two.

 

“Who was the child that Jinhyuk killed?”

 

Jinwook looked to Wooseok. Wooseok’s calm and steady voice was betrayed by the look of fear in his eyes.

 

It was a simple question. The simple answer was Wooseok’s name. The answer that Jinwook gave him was, “I’m sorry.”

 

-

 

The snow falling around Jinhyuk was disgustingly reminiscent of the first time Jinwook ever met him. It was so ironic that Jinwook wanted to throw up.

 

Jinhyuk was beautiful on Earth, standing in the lamplit park under the snow.

 

He really wanted to hold the angel close, to beg him not to fall.

 

Instead, he kept his distance. He’d been responsible for Jinhyuk thus far, but now he wasn’t in control of the angel’s life. Maybe he never was.

 

So when they went back to heaven, looking down at the beautiful Earth, Jinwook didn’t stop him. He couldn’t do it. He could not stop Jinhyuk from falling.

 

“Goodbye, Jinwook hyung. Tell Wooseok that I’m sorry.”

 

All that Jinwook can say is goodbye.

 

———

 

In the end, it all boiled down to one fact: Jinwook would give up everything for Jinhyuk.

 

Not that Jinwook was looking for opportunities to die for Jinhyuk. That’s what set Jinwook apart from every other cliché ride or die – rather than straight up dying, he’d find ways to  _ avoid _ death. Not just for him, but for Jinhyuk, too, most of the time. Because contrary to popular belief, angels could die, too! They weren’t invincible!

 

The point is, Jinwook would do anything to preserve his and Jinhyuk’s wellbeing. If there was something Jinwook could do for him, he would do it. If it endangered himself, then he’d have to find a workaround for  _ that _ . He always did. That’s how he got Jinhyuk out of trouble most of the time. Hell, that’s how he got Jinhyuk out of the mess that was his attachment to earth. Was Jinwook proud of having to kill a child? No, not at all. It went against everything he worked for. But at least he and Jinhyuk were somewhat safe, right?

 

Call him selfish and he’d agree. Out of every angel there, Jinwook must have been the most flawed, the most selfish. But as twisted as it was, he prided himself in his ability to always get him and Jinhyuk out of trouble.

 

But he supposes the difference this time around was that Jinhyuk never gave him a chance to get him out of trouble.

 

When Jinwook turns around, he finds the entire court of head angels peering down at him. They gather there, on the edge of heaven, to judge the crimes that Jinwook had done. He tampered with humans and he let an angel fall.

 

At first, he blames Jinhyuk. But it was never Jinhyuk’s fault in the first place. No one would have thought he would still have his humanness as an angel.

 

Jinwook doesn’t have anyone to blame for his own actions, or lack thereof. That was okay. Everyone blames him anyway. They lost their favorite angel and Jinwook was his supervisor - since Jinhyuk was gone and he couldn’t be punished (not that he did anything wrong), the blame would fall on Jinwook and Wooseok, who was supposed to be monitoring him.  _ However _ … Wooseok wasn’t back, either. So all the blame was on Jinwook.

 

The loss of respect is instantaneous. It doesn’t hurt, though. Nothing hurt more than watching Jinhyuk fall. Nothing hurt more than watching someone he loved the most leave him. He thought he’d left all the pain behind when he’d died as a human, but Jinhyuk’s fall was an entirely new death to Jinwook.

 

Maybe Jinwook is more human than he thought he was.

**Author's Note:**

> like i mentioned in the tags, jinwook and sungjun's relationship is left up to your own interpretation. jinjun was sort of brought up when my angel au was initially going on and i liked the idea of it, but i didn't want it to affect this too much since i'd planned this spin off fic a while ago after planning the au out. i hope nothing is too confusing!! this monster of a fic has been sitting in my drafts for too long kjdfsfk.
> 
> thank you so much for reading this fic btw ;-; my angel au is my baby sdfk please tell me what you thought about this fic and, if you read it, my angel au!!
> 
> 1/7/2019 - edited to accomodate wei's name change.


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